yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
