that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
