Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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