I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
