My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
