just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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