I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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