I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
