So drunk, too bad you don't want this
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
