if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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