Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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