I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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