apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
