I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
