____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize