allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
