kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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