The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
