Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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