His pubic hair was longer than his dick
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
