she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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