I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
