I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
