I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
