i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
