if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
