I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
