Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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