if you like me you must not know who I am
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
