fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
