YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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