we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize