yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
