he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
