He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize