i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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