He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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