My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
