Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
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