This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
