Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
