Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Randomize
