There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
worst night to have a conscience
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
