Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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