hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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