I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
