I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
How does one acquire holy water?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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