I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize