I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Randomize
