so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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