Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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