The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
