just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
