So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
