You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize