What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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