apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
