I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
