Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
