i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
my liver is dry heaving
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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