if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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