You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
This is my gift to your gina
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
