Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Randomize
