good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
